Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely !

Lord Acton remarked in 1887 "Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely !". Looking from heavens above, at the leela that transpired at the Ramlila Grounds in the wee hours of 5th June, he would be proud man..err soul! On the other corner would be Gandhi (the original one!) wearing a dejected look, murmuring 'Hey Ram' time and time again and thanking his stars that we was not born in such times. Poor guy would have landed up in hospital every alternate day for his peaceful Satyagrahs. There would be another worried soul - that of Abe Lincoln - for his widely accepted definition of democracy - of the people, by the people, for the people, would now perhaps not be used anymore.

I was just wondering on what could have been the conversations in the board room where the legitimate action was finalized. I could think of this -

Date: 4th June
Time: Late evening
Venue: 10 Jan Path
Participants : MMS, Madam ji, Sibal, Pranab Babu, PC, D(P)igvijay, AK Antony
Agenda : How to stop Ramdev ??

Needless to say, Pranab Da was asked to steer the committee, like so many others which he does. At one time I read the number was 22, I just stopped keeping a track after that. (My heart goes out for the old man - how hard he's made to work at this age. I feel ashamed when I complain about my workload now.)

Pranab Da (PD): " So now that we have failed in Airport and Claridges hotel diplomacy measures, we need to think of some other solution to tackle Ramdev before the situation goes out of hand".
Sibal (KS)(with his usual haughtiness): " Sochna kya hai, Maaro saalon ko".
PD: "What are you saying?"
KS: "Are you hard of hearing oldie? I said lets go out and kick some ass"
PD: "I don't expect any kind words from a Dilli waala but still you could've done better. And we can't just go out and kick some ass. It can have wide ramifications."
KS: "I'll take care of that. Mujhpe chodd do. "
PD (who's now really worried):" ManMohan ji, please say something."
Man-Mohan(MMS) (spotting his trademark calm demeanor): "I don't know anything."
PD: "This is what happens when you over practice. This answer was supposed to be given for questions on 2G scam, not in a cabinet meeting. So please say something."
MMS: "I still don't know anything."
PD: " Oho..it can't be like this. you are the PM. You have to take some decision"
MMS: "I am not responsible for this."
PD: "You are not on TV now. Stop giving me these one-liners."
MMS(Silence):
It took a while for PD to realize that MMS only deals in one-liners and that MMS had taken PD's last line literally.
PD: "Madam ji - What's your view on this?"
Madam ji (SG): "Oh..Am I supposed to have one? But first can you please translate in English whatever Baba is saying in the media. Only then can I have a counter view"
D(P)igvijay (Pig) (who is till now licking SG's sandals suddenly springs in action): "Madam ji...I'll happily do that for you. Give me a moment."
PD: "I want some opinions. Antony, you got some ideas?"
Antony (AK)(takes a while..checking his mobile): "Sorry, I've been a bit busy with the Americans these days. Ever since they lost out on the $10 bn MMRCA deal, I've been on look out for an equally lucrative deal for them. So can you just explain the context of discussion here".
PD: "I can understand. I don't mind explaining again. See, the whole thing is that..."
Suddenly AK's phone rings.
AK: " Sorry, its an urgent call, from US. Have to take it..please excuse me(walks out of the room)".
PD: "Sibal, we got any legal options?"
KS: "Now that's like asking a lion whether he knows how to hunt. Have you forgotten that am a liar by profession and that too of the Supreme degree. We can say the permission was for yoga not for demonstration. We can use his written note, which I so cleverly got, against him. We'll make him look like a person who doesn't keep his promises. But I want to teach him a lesson. After these many arguments, I could've won a court in Supreme court but this half-naked man will not budge.  Maaron saalon ko"


Meanwhile the Pig gets the translation done and hands over to Madam ji. Madam ji starts screening through immediately.
PD: " Even if you use police force, how will you justify it?"
PC jumps in.
PC: "We can say we had credible info from IB and CBI of a possible terrorist attack. We were late, as usual, as we were collating data from different agencies. Police thought its best if Ramdev is moved out to avoid a law and order breakdown."
KS(with a chuckle in his voice): "Good one Chiddu. Any one else has to say anything? Any more questions oldie?"
KS is getting impatient now and is pacing up and down the room.
PD: "Only if Madamji can give her expert opinion on this !"
SG: "I think its a decision to be taken by the govt. My opinion will depend on the outcome of the action - I'll allign it accordingly so as to always look with the will of the aam aadmi."


Suddenly there's a commotion outside the room. And lo ! Parachutes the crown prince Rahul 'Baba' Gandhi.
Rahul Gandhi(RG): "Mummy ! Why was I not invited to the meeting?"
PD: " Rahul Baba..you are our future PM. If this decision goes awry, we have the not-so-Man-mohan Singh to blame for. If it works fine, we can always say, that it was a master stroke by you and of course D(P)igvijay will shout at the top of his voice to announce it."
All the people look admiringly at D(P)igvijay only to find him licking Baba's slippers to make them look shining new.
RG:"Thank you Pranab uncle ! you are such a fatherly figure to me"
PD blushes thinking at the prospect of what being a "fatherly" figure to Baba would mean and looks lovingly towards Madamji who gives him a royal snub. PD adjusts his specs and regains his senses.
PC: " I have one point. If you want to finish the charisma of the man, finish his credentials first. To this effect, I can unleash the CBI, IT etc on Ramdev's assets and they'll dig the dirt. Even if its not there, they can perhaps dump someone else's dirt in his compound. But before that, the seed of suspicion should be planted in people's minds. This should be done by someone, who gets publicity also and has almost nil credibility so that in case we need to distance ourselves from his comments we can easily do so."
KS: "Abbe joote chaatne band kar. Namak ka hak ada kar."
Pig: " Of course I will. I'll shower all kind of preposterous charges on Ramdev the next morning itself.  For Madamji and Baba, I can do anything. I know my kids are gonna hate me even more and tell  me how they are booed at school for being my kids and my wife ain't letting me near her after I make all these charges, but the welfare of the Gandhi family is well beyond my family. I will do it"
The gathering barely manage to hide their laughter. But D(P)igvijay's eyes are gleaming with the pride only visible in the eyes of a soldier who is willing to be martyred for his country.
KS:"I guess that's the end - lets get ready for the action then. Any closing comments?"
PD: "Man-Mohan ji, anything you'd like to add to the discussion?
MMS: " I don't have much to say except that..."
KS (interuppting in between):"Okay, we got it..you are fine with it. The court is adjourned..sorry, the meeting's over. Ab aayega mazaa"
All get up to leave, when Antony joins in.
AK:" Oh, the meeting's over. Anyways, I've full confidence in what Man-Mohan ji has decided. By the way, I got great news. We've agreed to a $4bn deal with the US for Boeing C-17 airlifters. The modalities of the deal are being worked out (and winks at KS). Ain't it great man-Mohan ji?"
MMS: "But I don't know anything."

Everyone just heaves a loud sigh, nod their heads and leave.

PS: The characters are not entirely fictional and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely intentional.