Monday, June 20, 2011

Old is Gold...Indeed !!!

Personally I hate comparisons, be it - North India vs South India, Oriental vs Occidental, Maruti vs Santro, Levis vs Pepe, Amitabh Vs Rajnikanth, Hollywood Vs Bollywood, Man U Vs Barca, Rafa Vs Fedex, Times of India Vs The Hindu, Colgate Vs Pepsodent or for that matter be it Blonde vs Redhead vs Brunette vs Black. I always feel that each person/place/thing is unique in some way or the other, so comparing is an exercise in futility.

But this post is not about not-to-compare. It's exactly the opposite. Yeah ! I have started comparing. But it's not by choice that I drew parallels between two things. I was literally forced into it.

Recently Bollywood has been flooded with all kinds of flimsy and frivolous songs that compelled me to explore what our elders always said about how songs in their times were much better. And sure happy I am to have done that. What actually maketh listening to a song a memorable experience? My take is - Brilliant Lyrics, Soulful Rendition and Catchy Musical Score, Artistic Expressions and Picturesque Settings - almost always in that order. If all four are present we get a melody - that strikes right at the core of your heart.

Sadly, nowadays, there are too many songs but hardly any melodies. Lyrics is permanently paralyzed, though it might get an occasional reprieve of life from Javed Akhtar or Gulzar. It's quite astonishing that this is an industry that is associated with Arts - which has creativity at its core - and this is what best we can muster- "Unche se unche banda, potty pe baithe nanga", "Sheela ki jawani....i know you want it but you never gonna get it", "Munni badnam huyi...jhandubalm huyi", "Kutta ban gya mei kutta ban gya", "shalu ke thumke", "shakira se bhi zaada tera hile lakk ni", "character dheela hai", "DK Bose" etc. The lyricists have gone intellectually bankrupt and are shamelessly ripping apart catchy phrases from yester years hits, mixing with some pathetic lyrics of theirs and in the process ending up with something that is so distasteful.

The less I talk about the protagonists the better. The audience admires everything else other than their acting skills. Rather than making the whole experience a sensual one, they instead end up making it an erotic one. This new breed arrogantly flaunts its mind numbing aesthetic (in)sensibilities. As a result, we see expression less romantic gestures replacing the romantic mysticism that was once epitomized by Raj Kapoor and Dilip Kumar; Salman-esque lewdness uprooting the chivalry that was so gracefully carried by Ashok Kumar; bizarre hitting-the-balls, gay-fart-sex jokes in the garb of comedy which used to be so tastefully depicted by Kishore Kumar and Dev Anand. The female leads think they can shake a leg or two to the tunes of item numbers? In fact, they should be thanking their stars that don't have Helen as a contemporary. They spend on all sorts of cosmetic enhancements and nose/chin jobs but they forget that a women's beauty is incomplete without the subtlety of Rekha, the sublimity of Meena Kumari, the demeanor of Nargis, the infiniteness of Madhu Bala and the elegance of Nutan.

Today songs have been reduced to a visual extravaganza rather than being a personal, innocent, low-key affair between the male and female leads. The songs are packed with all kinds of exotic locations, 'n' number of junior artists dressed in gaudy clothes with all sorts of props, jumping in joy, that certainly set our feet tapping but are unable to stir the soul in a way that a 'aapki ki nazron ne samjha pyaar ke kabil mujhe' or a 'Lag ja gale ki phir yeh haseen raat ho na ho' or a 'Ajeeb Dastan hai yeh' would do.

On a closer introspection, why am I concerned? Isn't change the only constant? My only concern is that the sellers ultimately sell what the buyers demand. If the runaway success and critical acclaim of  movies like Dabangg, Ready, Delhi Belly, Shaitan, is to be taken as a pointer, there is a dangerous trend that is emerging - that of changing sensibilities. Suddenly, vice is the new virtue; obscenity is the new decency; profanity is the new veneration. The depth of thoughts has lost ground to the abyss of depravity.

The biggest take away from India has always been its values like the emotional connect, the intellect, the philosophy towards life. Somewhere the danger lurks that these values might be lost in the vast swarm of social and cultural revolution that is sweeping India. If we don't preserve them, perhaps no one else would ! 

Evolve, but retain Values !

P.S: During my last visit back home, I saw my nephews and nieces singing "Sheela ki Jawani" in their cacophonous unison. And these kids that am talking about - the eldest one among them is hardly 10 years old and the youngest one just completed a year in school. I stood there speechless wondering whether I have been caught in a time warp or are these kids catching up too fast? Perhaps, it's time we think what we are leaving our younger generation with.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely !

Lord Acton remarked in 1887 "Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely !". Looking from heavens above, at the leela that transpired at the Ramlila Grounds in the wee hours of 5th June, he would be proud man..err soul! On the other corner would be Gandhi (the original one!) wearing a dejected look, murmuring 'Hey Ram' time and time again and thanking his stars that we was not born in such times. Poor guy would have landed up in hospital every alternate day for his peaceful Satyagrahs. There would be another worried soul - that of Abe Lincoln - for his widely accepted definition of democracy - of the people, by the people, for the people, would now perhaps not be used anymore.

I was just wondering on what could have been the conversations in the board room where the legitimate action was finalized. I could think of this -

Date: 4th June
Time: Late evening
Venue: 10 Jan Path
Participants : MMS, Madam ji, Sibal, Pranab Babu, PC, D(P)igvijay, AK Antony
Agenda : How to stop Ramdev ??

Needless to say, Pranab Da was asked to steer the committee, like so many others which he does. At one time I read the number was 22, I just stopped keeping a track after that. (My heart goes out for the old man - how hard he's made to work at this age. I feel ashamed when I complain about my workload now.)

Pranab Da (PD): " So now that we have failed in Airport and Claridges hotel diplomacy measures, we need to think of some other solution to tackle Ramdev before the situation goes out of hand".
Sibal (KS)(with his usual haughtiness): " Sochna kya hai, Maaro saalon ko".
PD: "What are you saying?"
KS: "Are you hard of hearing oldie? I said lets go out and kick some ass"
PD: "I don't expect any kind words from a Dilli waala but still you could've done better. And we can't just go out and kick some ass. It can have wide ramifications."
KS: "I'll take care of that. Mujhpe chodd do. "
PD (who's now really worried):" ManMohan ji, please say something."
Man-Mohan(MMS) (spotting his trademark calm demeanor): "I don't know anything."
PD: "This is what happens when you over practice. This answer was supposed to be given for questions on 2G scam, not in a cabinet meeting. So please say something."
MMS: "I still don't know anything."
PD: " Oho..it can't be like this. you are the PM. You have to take some decision"
MMS: "I am not responsible for this."
PD: "You are not on TV now. Stop giving me these one-liners."
MMS(Silence):
It took a while for PD to realize that MMS only deals in one-liners and that MMS had taken PD's last line literally.
PD: "Madam ji - What's your view on this?"
Madam ji (SG): "Oh..Am I supposed to have one? But first can you please translate in English whatever Baba is saying in the media. Only then can I have a counter view"
D(P)igvijay (Pig) (who is till now licking SG's sandals suddenly springs in action): "Madam ji...I'll happily do that for you. Give me a moment."
PD: "I want some opinions. Antony, you got some ideas?"
Antony (AK)(takes a while..checking his mobile): "Sorry, I've been a bit busy with the Americans these days. Ever since they lost out on the $10 bn MMRCA deal, I've been on look out for an equally lucrative deal for them. So can you just explain the context of discussion here".
PD: "I can understand. I don't mind explaining again. See, the whole thing is that..."
Suddenly AK's phone rings.
AK: " Sorry, its an urgent call, from US. Have to take it..please excuse me(walks out of the room)".
PD: "Sibal, we got any legal options?"
KS: "Now that's like asking a lion whether he knows how to hunt. Have you forgotten that am a liar by profession and that too of the Supreme degree. We can say the permission was for yoga not for demonstration. We can use his written note, which I so cleverly got, against him. We'll make him look like a person who doesn't keep his promises. But I want to teach him a lesson. After these many arguments, I could've won a court in Supreme court but this half-naked man will not budge.  Maaron saalon ko"


Meanwhile the Pig gets the translation done and hands over to Madam ji. Madam ji starts screening through immediately.
PD: " Even if you use police force, how will you justify it?"
PC jumps in.
PC: "We can say we had credible info from IB and CBI of a possible terrorist attack. We were late, as usual, as we were collating data from different agencies. Police thought its best if Ramdev is moved out to avoid a law and order breakdown."
KS(with a chuckle in his voice): "Good one Chiddu. Any one else has to say anything? Any more questions oldie?"
KS is getting impatient now and is pacing up and down the room.
PD: "Only if Madamji can give her expert opinion on this !"
SG: "I think its a decision to be taken by the govt. My opinion will depend on the outcome of the action - I'll allign it accordingly so as to always look with the will of the aam aadmi."


Suddenly there's a commotion outside the room. And lo ! Parachutes the crown prince Rahul 'Baba' Gandhi.
Rahul Gandhi(RG): "Mummy ! Why was I not invited to the meeting?"
PD: " Rahul Baba..you are our future PM. If this decision goes awry, we have the not-so-Man-mohan Singh to blame for. If it works fine, we can always say, that it was a master stroke by you and of course D(P)igvijay will shout at the top of his voice to announce it."
All the people look admiringly at D(P)igvijay only to find him licking Baba's slippers to make them look shining new.
RG:"Thank you Pranab uncle ! you are such a fatherly figure to me"
PD blushes thinking at the prospect of what being a "fatherly" figure to Baba would mean and looks lovingly towards Madamji who gives him a royal snub. PD adjusts his specs and regains his senses.
PC: " I have one point. If you want to finish the charisma of the man, finish his credentials first. To this effect, I can unleash the CBI, IT etc on Ramdev's assets and they'll dig the dirt. Even if its not there, they can perhaps dump someone else's dirt in his compound. But before that, the seed of suspicion should be planted in people's minds. This should be done by someone, who gets publicity also and has almost nil credibility so that in case we need to distance ourselves from his comments we can easily do so."
KS: "Abbe joote chaatne band kar. Namak ka hak ada kar."
Pig: " Of course I will. I'll shower all kind of preposterous charges on Ramdev the next morning itself.  For Madamji and Baba, I can do anything. I know my kids are gonna hate me even more and tell  me how they are booed at school for being my kids and my wife ain't letting me near her after I make all these charges, but the welfare of the Gandhi family is well beyond my family. I will do it"
The gathering barely manage to hide their laughter. But D(P)igvijay's eyes are gleaming with the pride only visible in the eyes of a soldier who is willing to be martyred for his country.
KS:"I guess that's the end - lets get ready for the action then. Any closing comments?"
PD: "Man-Mohan ji, anything you'd like to add to the discussion?
MMS: " I don't have much to say except that..."
KS (interuppting in between):"Okay, we got it..you are fine with it. The court is adjourned..sorry, the meeting's over. Ab aayega mazaa"
All get up to leave, when Antony joins in.
AK:" Oh, the meeting's over. Anyways, I've full confidence in what Man-Mohan ji has decided. By the way, I got great news. We've agreed to a $4bn deal with the US for Boeing C-17 airlifters. The modalities of the deal are being worked out (and winks at KS). Ain't it great man-Mohan ji?"
MMS: "But I don't know anything."

Everyone just heaves a loud sigh, nod their heads and leave.

PS: The characters are not entirely fictional and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely intentional.